Chapter 1: The Day That Changed Everything.

As you may have previously seen me declare, this letter is a 'behind-the-scenes' snapshot to various projects I am working on, and today's edition is no different. This is the second draft of what is set to be the first chapter of my upcoming book: 100 Years Of Wealth: Inheritance Management in the Bitcoin era.

Bzz bzzz. I check my phone. “Shit. Mum’s calling…” The internal cogs were just about functioning, after a very long night with my friends welcoming in the New Year. It was the afternoon of 1st January 2009. A haze of spliffs drifted around the apartment we were all staying in. The “come down”, as it was jokingly referred to, was in full swing. Indeed the last thing I felt like doing was having a catch-up with my mother. “F*ck it. I’ll call her later”, I thought to myself.

It’s so much easier to just fall back into the warm surrounds of a sofa, the same old jokes of your closest friends doing the rounds once again, with a debrief on all the drama from the night before underway. But then she called again. And again. And again… Do you know what? I actually don’t remember how many missed calls I got in the end. Finally I succumbed…

Me: “Sorry guys, I better take this.”

Even now, as I re-tell this story, I can feel the emotions swelling inside me. I get a little short of breath, anxious vibes flutter in the background, the thought process revives the trauma deep down inside me. For those that have gone through an experience like this, you will be well aware of what I am describing. I moved myself into the kitchen area.

Me: “Hi, Mum, is everything ok?”

Mum: “Jake. Hi darling. I am so sorry, there’s been a terrible accident. Your Dad’s dead. You need to come home.”

Ooft. Shocking news. Unbelievable news. Unthinkable news. “WHAT THE F*CK…!” My head started spinning. The world as I knew it came crashing down around me. I remember thinking: “how am I going to go back next door and tell them?”. The first of many unexpected challenges ahead. “She’s wrong. Surely this is a joke…” The pit of one’s stomach disappears to the core of the earth. Consternation. Disbelief. 

Me: “Ok. I am coming home” 

There really wasn’t much else to say. I walked back into the sitting room, to what seemed a sea of smiling young students, and hit them with the bombshell news I had received. To say the least, the atmosphere of relaxed happiness disappeared in a heartbeat. Indeed, as I was to learn, the look on their faces was a challenge to handle, as others process their grief right in front of you.

A few hugs. A “you ok mate?”. Hardly… But it was action stations. The rational mind kicks into problem solving mode. I hurriedly packed my things, got the car keys, and said my goodbyes. I then had the longest hour and half of solo driving that I can remember, following a friend back to the neighbourhood we grew up in. Brutal. Absolutely brutal. New Year has never been quite the same again.

Even now I reflect on that moment with dis-belief. This was the day that everything changed. My father had died of what’s called a pulmonary embolism, in other words a heart attack, and he was just 48 years old. It was totally out of the blue, a soccer-punch to the back of the head if ever there was one.

It was only when I got home that evening, that the reality of it all kicked in, with Dad nowhere to be seen. Mum, my Sister, my Brother, and Mum’s sister, sitting by the fire in floods of tears. The unthinkable had happened. Grief was upon us. It’s like a cloud of emotional haze that envelops you all. Sometimes helpful. Sometimes horrendous.

One is in a daze. Angry. Sad. In denial. Practical. Yoyo-ing from emotion to emotion. A full on rollercoaster of everything it means to be human. How has this happened? Why did this happen? What the hell do we do now? Question, upon question, upon question, all equally as impossible to answer as the last.

This was a twist in the tale that no-one saw coming. A life of privilege, opportunity, and love, collides face first with the harsh reality of nature. The circle of life. Little did I know, but this was a moment that would go on to have a profound impact on where I was to go. So often our toughest tests are the best lessons, and provide inspiration for our greatest achievements, such as the creation of this book.

As I write this I’ve let out a big sigh. “Big breath out Jake…” I can feel it. Just like yesterday. “Your Dad’s dead...” It echoes around my consciousness. The cosy carpet that had been the first 20 years of my life whipped from underneath me. “Wake up and smell the coffee boy” as Dad used to say. Well the gloves were off. The real world was upon me. It was time to grow up, make some big decisions, and handle whatever was thrown at me.

If there was any lesson from that day of days, it is that the grieving process undulates for weeks, months, years after it happens; and it is the passing of time that has proven the greatest healer. I cherish this now. The pain has subsided naturally. It’s still there, but it’s so much more manageable, compared to what it used to be like. 

So anyone that has chosen to read this book, and has experienced the death of a loved one, rest assured it does get easier. I promise. Nature has a healing process that unfolds. Give it time. But you need to face the fact: nothing will bring them back. You can drink. You can take drugs. You can have grief counselling. None of it actually solves the problem. You are but papering up the cracks.

In my experience it’s all about just letting it go. Allow it to unfold. Be ok with that. To be fair, it’s easy for me to say that now, having had 15 years go by. But it will be ok. I promise. You have your own life to go and live. Embrace that. Moving forward brings energy. The knowledge that you’re on your own path is critical. 

Are you ready? I hope so. Ultimately no-one is coming to save you. There is no benevolent helping hand out there. You lost a loved one. It’s hard. It’s likely the hardest thing you’ve ever experienced, but f*ck, you can do this. “COME ON!” Yes, you’re on your own, akin to being rudderless at sea, but do not fear. There are tools, techniques, and time to figure things out. The fact you’re reading this book is a superb start to the process. In fact, it’s my aim that this will become the go-to resource for anyone that is in a similar position to myself back on the 2nd of January 2009. 

So as I close out the first chapter, remember, mindset is everything. Being confident in yourself, your own skin, and your ability to navigate this crazy thing called life, is critical to maximising the opportunity. We’re so lucky. Abundance all around us. Let’s be grateful for what we do have. There is a whole world of incredible experiences to create, enjoy, and share. No-one is coming to help you, and that’s ok. Why? Because you have everything you need to figure things out: your life.

Any good? Or absolute garbage? It's really such an honour to be able to share this with you all first. I feel there is a few iterations left to go...

Best,

Jake

Ps - I'd love to get as much feedback as possible. Spelling or grammer error, then please share. An insight on a better way to explain something, then please share. Simply click "reply" and the email comes straight to me jake@jesw.xyz